To the best of my knowledge, neither of the parties involved in this story are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but this story illustrates why the LDS Church takes such a dim view of adultery and will generally excommunicate adulterers and adulteresses almost without exception. In this case, the wages of sin were, quite literally, death.
According to the Daily Mail, Mark Anders Chalin of Mankato, MN, pleaded guilty to criminal vehicular homicide in October 2012 in exchange for a recommended four-year prison term, to which he was sentenced in December 2012. Prosecutors say Chalin smashed into a car being driven by Jonna Martin, a 35-year-old engaged mother of four on August 7th, 2011, while driving on County Road 90. Also killed was Chalin's passenger, 23-year-old Amber Menezes, who was married to Chris Menezes, although another report indicates the two were legally separated at the time of the crash.
But it is the reason for the crash that arouses concern. Witnesses told police that just before the collision, they saw Amber Menezes straddling Chalin in the driver's seat, blocking his view of the road. It was subsequently confirmed that Menezes was on Chalin's lap and it appeared they had been having sex before Chalin veered into Martin's lane. Somewhat shameful was the response of Menezes' mother, Michelle Scholl, who attended the hearing and didn't support the plea agreement. She said, "I will never have grandchildren from my daughter. She was somebody who did something with her life. He is a repeat offender"
Committing adultery is not something that one would be proud to brag about having done with her life. And it cost her mortality. And imagine the conflicting emotions buffeting Chris Menezes; while he may think his wife got her just desserts, he also undoubtedly misses her. On the other hand, Michelle Scholl may have a difficult time with the idea that her daughter preceded her in death, so sanitizing her daughter's life may be part of the grieving process.
Four additional people were also affected by Amber Menezes' adultery; Jonna Martin's four kids and her fiance, Roger Thompson. So because Mark Chalin and Amber Menezes couldn't control their lust for one another, two people are dead, one is in prison, and five others are without someone they loved. The wages of sin can be fearsome.
Now you know why the LDS Church takes such a hard line on adultery. It's not as if it's impossible to avoid. Since we believe that "as man is, God once was, and as God is, man may become", this means our Heavenly Father went though mortality. He understands human emotions first hand; He undoubtedly knows how it feels to look upon a woman and lust after her. But by virtue of His Godhood, it is obvious He resisted those impulses during His mortality.
When our Heavenly Father tells us "Thou shalt not commit adultery", He knows what He's talking about. He didn't give us that commandment to oppress us, but to liberate us from sin and the sometimes drastic and unforgiving consequences of it.
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Ever Hear Of A "Mormon Sexologist"? Dr. Melissa Jones Is A "Sexologist", And Her Stake President In San Antonio Is OK With It
The Salt Lake City Weekly reports that a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in good standing is a "sexologist", and her stake president doesn't have a problem with it.
Dr. Melissa Jones, “The Mormon Sexologist”, is a sexuality educator and a member of the LDS Church. At her sexology practice in San Antonio, Jones helps women and couples overcome roadblocks to intimacy, take control of their sexuality and bring spice back into their relationship. The Weekly got involved in the story because she's holding a series of seminars in Salt Lake City from November 8-10. She's presenting three educational workshops; “Where’d the Mojo Go”, “Mastering the Female Orgasm” and “Fabulous Fellatio: The Art of Oral Sex”. Dr. Jones is a serious person; she holds a masters in womens studies, a doctorate in sexology, and membership in three professional associations. She and her husband have been married for twenty years and are the parents of three children. Here's a short video in which she explains the function of a sexologist:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eV6C9q-eGE
Dr. Jones says her clients are often referred by gynecologists, urologists and family practice doctors, as well as ecclesiastical leaders. She works with people both in and out of the Church who are suffering from anorgamia, couples who want to spice up their marriage, and men who have erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation issues. Jones insists her profession is not incompatible with LDS standards; she believes her calling was to go into sexology to help couples deal with sexual issues and to help parents educate their children and talk to them about sex. Her objective is to break the stigma in many Mormon families against talking about sex; she says Satan hijacked sex and made it sound dirty, and she wants to take it back from him.
What does she think sex should be like? Here's her answer:
She's got a point. The Bible doesn't shrink back from sexual issues; 1 Corinthians 7:3 states "Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband". You don't need a PhD in sexology to figure that one out.
Melissa Jones says that back in Texas, some people ask her how she can be a sexologist and still remain a member of the church. But she insists her stake president knows what she does, and she hasn't gotten in trouble yet. But she'd be wise not to show up for her next meeting with her stake president dressed like this; it might cause "hard" feelings, so to speak.
Some more traditionally-minded Mormons may feel awkward about an LDS sexologists presenting a seminar on "fabulous fellatio" (I assume it does NOT include a demonstration-performance segment). This is because LDS authorities once frowned on married couples engaging in anything other than straightforward missionary-type sex. Those who told their bishops that they engaged in oral sex could be denied temple recommends. However, bishops are now instructed not to probe too deeply into sexual behavior within a couple's marriage so long as they are otherwise worthy and are reporting no marital difficulties; they are simply instructed to ascertain that the member is living the law of chastity. So the average bishop won't ask you if you're engaging in oral sex with your spouse unless specifically provoked to do so. And, realistically, it's none of his business.
Perhaps Melissa Jones ought to do one of those "I Am A Mormon" videos. I'd bet it would go viral (LOL).
Dr. Melissa Jones, “The Mormon Sexologist”, is a sexuality educator and a member of the LDS Church. At her sexology practice in San Antonio, Jones helps women and couples overcome roadblocks to intimacy, take control of their sexuality and bring spice back into their relationship. The Weekly got involved in the story because she's holding a series of seminars in Salt Lake City from November 8-10. She's presenting three educational workshops; “Where’d the Mojo Go”, “Mastering the Female Orgasm” and “Fabulous Fellatio: The Art of Oral Sex”. Dr. Jones is a serious person; she holds a masters in womens studies, a doctorate in sexology, and membership in three professional associations. She and her husband have been married for twenty years and are the parents of three children. Here's a short video in which she explains the function of a sexologist:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eV6C9q-eGE
Dr. Jones says her clients are often referred by gynecologists, urologists and family practice doctors, as well as ecclesiastical leaders. She works with people both in and out of the Church who are suffering from anorgamia, couples who want to spice up their marriage, and men who have erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation issues. Jones insists her profession is not incompatible with LDS standards; she believes her calling was to go into sexology to help couples deal with sexual issues and to help parents educate their children and talk to them about sex. Her objective is to break the stigma in many Mormon families against talking about sex; she says Satan hijacked sex and made it sound dirty, and she wants to take it back from him.
What does she think sex should be like? Here's her answer:
You’re supposed to have a lot of fun. You’re supposed to get to enjoy each other and have a good time. And then, along the way, you realize what sex has done for you is made you stronger and has brought you closer as a couple. And then it turn, it brings you closer to your Heavenly Father because you are closer as a couple and you do love each other more. But people forget that sex is supposed to be good, that you can have a good time along the way.
She's got a point. The Bible doesn't shrink back from sexual issues; 1 Corinthians 7:3 states "Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband". You don't need a PhD in sexology to figure that one out.
Melissa Jones says that back in Texas, some people ask her how she can be a sexologist and still remain a member of the church. But she insists her stake president knows what she does, and she hasn't gotten in trouble yet. But she'd be wise not to show up for her next meeting with her stake president dressed like this; it might cause "hard" feelings, so to speak.
Some more traditionally-minded Mormons may feel awkward about an LDS sexologists presenting a seminar on "fabulous fellatio" (I assume it does NOT include a demonstration-performance segment). This is because LDS authorities once frowned on married couples engaging in anything other than straightforward missionary-type sex. Those who told their bishops that they engaged in oral sex could be denied temple recommends. However, bishops are now instructed not to probe too deeply into sexual behavior within a couple's marriage so long as they are otherwise worthy and are reporting no marital difficulties; they are simply instructed to ascertain that the member is living the law of chastity. So the average bishop won't ask you if you're engaging in oral sex with your spouse unless specifically provoked to do so. And, realistically, it's none of his business.
Perhaps Melissa Jones ought to do one of those "I Am A Mormon" videos. I'd bet it would go viral (LOL).
Sunday, September 2, 2012
The LDS Church Is Right: The Longer You Wait For Sex, The Better Your Romantic Relationship
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints maintains the most rigorous standard in regards to procreation. No sex before marriage, and sex only with your spouse after marriage. Even heavy petting before marriage is discouraged. This rule simplifies the issue and prevents much conflict. Fornication (involving unmarried members) can bring a host of sanctions, to include disfellowshipment; adultery (committed by married members), which is more serious because it involves violation of a marriage covenant, frequently results in excommunication.
Now the Daily Mail is reporting on a study which seems to validate the LDS position. A research team from Cornell University asked almost 600 married and cohabiting couples a series of questions about the health of their relationships. One of the questions asked was how long they had waited before sleeping together
Around a third of the men and women said they’d had sex within the first month of dating, while about 28 per cent waited at least six months. Cross-referencing this response with the response to other questions showed that women who had waited to have sex tended to be happier, and those who waited at least six months scored more highly in every category measured than those who got intimate within the first month. Even their sex lives were better. Although the link was weaker for men, those who waited to get physically involved also benefited by having less conflict.
The Daily Mail disclosed that the original report has been published in the August 2012 edition of the Journal of Marriage and Family. Only the abstract is available for casual viewing; one must register and pay a fee to read the full article. The abstract hints at a distinction between married and cohabiting couples, stating "Cohabiting may result in poorer quality relationship because rapid sexual involvement early in the romantic relationship is associated with entrance into shared living".
Of course, the LDS Church didn't need to take a survey to figure that out. That's because Joseph Smith and all his successors chose to take the Lord's word on the matter. And when you consider the couplet "As man is, God once was, and as God is, man may become", this implies our Heavenly Father knows what He's talking about. During His mortal probation, He undoubtedly looked upon women and lusted after them many times. But the fact that He eventually was ordained unto Godhood implies that He did not yield to that lust, instead waiting until marriage. So our Heavenly Father figures that if He and the Heavenly Mother could wait until marriage, so can we. Besides, babies deserve to be born into two-parent homes where the father and mother are living together in holy matrimony; it is infrastructurally the most stable setting.
Now the Daily Mail is reporting on a study which seems to validate the LDS position. A research team from Cornell University asked almost 600 married and cohabiting couples a series of questions about the health of their relationships. One of the questions asked was how long they had waited before sleeping together
Around a third of the men and women said they’d had sex within the first month of dating, while about 28 per cent waited at least six months. Cross-referencing this response with the response to other questions showed that women who had waited to have sex tended to be happier, and those who waited at least six months scored more highly in every category measured than those who got intimate within the first month. Even their sex lives were better. Although the link was weaker for men, those who waited to get physically involved also benefited by having less conflict.
The Daily Mail disclosed that the original report has been published in the August 2012 edition of the Journal of Marriage and Family. Only the abstract is available for casual viewing; one must register and pay a fee to read the full article. The abstract hints at a distinction between married and cohabiting couples, stating "Cohabiting may result in poorer quality relationship because rapid sexual involvement early in the romantic relationship is associated with entrance into shared living".
Of course, the LDS Church didn't need to take a survey to figure that out. That's because Joseph Smith and all his successors chose to take the Lord's word on the matter. And when you consider the couplet "As man is, God once was, and as God is, man may become", this implies our Heavenly Father knows what He's talking about. During His mortal probation, He undoubtedly looked upon women and lusted after them many times. But the fact that He eventually was ordained unto Godhood implies that He did not yield to that lust, instead waiting until marriage. So our Heavenly Father figures that if He and the Heavenly Mother could wait until marriage, so can we. Besides, babies deserve to be born into two-parent homes where the father and mother are living together in holy matrimony; it is infrastructurally the most stable setting.
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