-- NOTE: All posts on this case available HERE, with the most recent post appearing first. Beagley was convicted of misdemeanor child abuse on August 23rd, 2011.
An Anchorage, Alaska woman identified as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints recently appeared on Dr. Phil's program, where her child discipline techniques were discussed. As a result, she has been characterized as a "child abuser". Primary media story published by the Anchorage Press; supplemental story in the Anchorage Daily News. Additional sources of information include the Recovery from Mormonism (RFM) forum and Free Republic. This post is intended to assemble and consolidate all the disparate information from the various sources.
The woman is identified as Jessica Beagley, married to Gary Beagley, an Anchorage patrol officer who was once a detective (there's no indication he was "flopped back into the bag" for disciplinary reasons; APD actually proposes to flop a few more detectives to cope with budgetary constraints). They have six children; one of them, a seven-year-old boy, is a Russian adoptee. They are identified as members of the LDS Church; reference is made to a group photo of the family posing outside the LDS temple in Bountiful, Utah. According to RFM, Jessica was recently the stake-level Primary president.
The controversy came to a head during a November 17th episode of the Dr. Phil showed called “Mommy Confessions”. One of Bagley's other kids shot a video of Jennifer disciplining her seven-year-old Russian adoptee son, Kristoff. On the video, Jessica is observed to be verbally reproving Kristoff for having received three discipline cards in elementary school for throwing pencils, sword-fighting with another child, and acting out in another class, and then lying to Jessica about the in-school discipline. While the name of the school is not revealed, Anchorage School District records indicate both the Beagleys have volunteered at Turnagain Elementary School.
Jessica seems to be much more troubled about the lying than the infraction itself. Although assertive, she's not particularly aggressive. Then she has Kristoff drink a small portion of hot sauce. She then continues to reprove him, then allows him to spit out the hot sauce. Then she directs him to take a cold shower; he can be heard crying while showering. While the video cannot be embedded, you can view it HERE, and read the transcript HERE.
I have now found a YouTube version:
Gary Beagley was also on the show, and he said a friend of his wife gave them the idea for the hot sauce. He credits his Department of Defense training for the cold shower technique, saying “In the military, we use cold showers for discipline, to get people’s attention”. Of course, there's one problem with this analogy -- there aren't too many seven-year-old boys in the military.
The audience reacted in a hostile fashion, with one person calling Jessica "evil". In response, Dr. Phil said, "I don’t believe you’re an evil person. I think you are misguided. I think you think you’re doing the only thing you know how to do, but that is totally unacceptable.” The couple believes the child to have reactive attachment disorder; they note that Kristoff's twin brother causes no problems. A comment by Therese posted to the Press story indicates that three of the Beagley's children are Russian adoptees; they ought to be commended for at least opening their home to so many unwanted children.
The Beagley family has chosen not to respond to media requests to tell their side of the story. Furthermore, they have "privatized" their blog; it's now available only to invited readers, although a cached version is still viewable. There seems to be a rush to judgment on the Beagley couple; while disciplinarians, they don't seem to be abusers. Washing a kid's mouth out with hot sauce is preferable to washing his mouth out with soap; at least hot sauce can be consumed without ill effects. The cold shower routine seems excessive, though.
Furthermore, while Dr. Phil does appear to direct his guests towards competent therapists and other providers, he's in it for the ratings. He's basically just a higher-class version of Montel Williams and Maury Povich. Dr. Phil was discovered by Oprah Winfrey, who turned him into a cult hero. Contrary to popular rumor, Dr. Phil was never married to Oprah.
Members of the LDS Church can get help with family issues through LDS Family Services; specific help with adopted children available HERE. It is unlikely the Beagleys would face Church discipline over this issue other than probation.
86 comments:
The way she treats this chile is very upsetting and the whole family should be investigated. However I do not thing mormonism has anything to do with it. There are child abusers in all kinds of religions, economical situations and ethnicities.
Thanks for recognizing the universality of the problem. The Office of Children's Services should probably remove the one child pending an investigation. Some professional therapy for the parents seems warranted.
I pray that someone steps in and helps him. He deserves so much better I wouldn't defend her. He is the one who should be stood up for. And yes she opened her home to unwanted children, but is she not treating him as if he's unwanted. I have 5 children, 2 sets of twins. My oldest 3 have ADHD. I have never thought of this torture as a source of discipline for my children. Someone needs to seriously step in before it's too late. She showed no remorse what so ever for the way she does Kristoff. Just sickening...
I'm not justifying what this woman did, but it honestly wasn't THAT bad.
The only reason anyone cares about this is that it was on Dr. Phil. If you want to act like you give a shit about the millions of kids in domestic abuse situations every day, try volunteering, not just raising a ruckus when a TV icon says you should.
You people are nuts. This IS out and out, undisputable abuse. If it's not then why aren't you forcing your kids to HOLD (not swallow a spoonful, so that they have a quick, unpleasant sensation but hold a big mouthful, so that the burning is endured for as long as possible) hotsauce in their mouths? You tell me that's not intended torture. Why aren't you guys throwing little Billy or Susie under cold showers until they scream? Oh wait, because it's totally unacceptable and it IS evil.
Cankers like her utterly tarnish the Mormon faith and give prospective adoptees a bad name too. I hope to hell that she's sterile because it's bad enough that she's tortured her adopted son like this, god forbid she gives birth to any more that she can abuse. This woman is a disgrace.
As for raising a ruckus because a chat show host tells me to, believe me, I'd be just as outraged if they were showing film footage of all the other millions of kids too.
LOL yes, they're not in the military, but how do you think people showered in the past without electric heaters? I'm pretty sure quite a few families couldn't afford to build a fire just to heat up their bath water each time they had to bathe. Warm water used to be a luxury, kids bathed in cold water all the time - and mind you, a bath means fully immersed in the freezing cold water. It's not torture... The screaming kid was probably just throwing a tantrum. Yes, maybe he was genuinely sorry that he made a few mistakes - but seriously, 3 in a day would indicate that he knew what he was doing was wrong, but continued anyway.
You may not agree with her methods, but how would you take it if you didn't discipline your child and he gets charged with manslaughter at 17 for killing someone over a bit of cash?
Would that then be the parents' fault, or the child's?
BRAVO!!! This lady rocks for showing us all how religious doctrine is supposed to be followed. Don't spare the rod!!! This is HER interpretation of her doctrine and her religion and should not be interfered with by society as long as r...eligion is allowed to remain a respected aspect of society.
From an atheist standpoint... who wants to start the melee on her ass?
Ok, first, resorting to name calling doesn't really get us anywhere. Threatening to kill someone also doesn't get us anywhere.
That said, yeah, this is definitely child abuse. In terms of the whole "people didn't used to have hot water" argument, yeah, people DID take cold baths and showers, but I doubt it was after being tortured with hotsauce, and screamed at by an angry grownup, and with the sole purpose of punishment rather than getting clean. For example, if you have to take a cold shower to get clean, you are allowed to step out of the stream of water while you soap up and you only need to be in there as long as it takes to rinse.
Also, he is SEVEN YEARS OLD! Please tell me you don't expect a seven year old to be perfectly accountable and conscious of all the ways in which their behavior affects others. Getting disciplinary action at school does not warrant torture at home, which by the way is far more likely to turn out some kind of "17 year old manslaughterer" than a kid who got in trouble ONE DAY at school when he was SEVEN. We all have our good and bad days.
Also, this woman's religion has nothing to do with the fact that she abused her son. I know plenty of children of LDS folks who never had to endure this kind of punishment, and I know plenty of survivors of childhood abuse who had parents of other faiths.
You think this isn't child abuse?!
Half of your comments are pathetic. I don't care how many times a day a child misbehaves. He is a child. and yes, a Cold shower is excessive and demeaning. For the adult to feel that it is okay to shoot this makes me wonder what she does not on film, She opens her house up to children and should be commended. Reallly is that all it takes. She disgusts me as a mom. I would like to take her clothes off and put her in a cold shower.
The anonymous commenter who wrote how the child is just throwing a tantrum in the cold shower. You are a monster as much as this so called 'mother' if you think the way he cried was a tantrum. Any body with a heart would react to that sort of cry with worry. That mother should be taken to jail. I don't understand how she's still roaming out and about with a blog called the "beagley bunch". They are not a bunch. More like a sadistic tyrant of a mother with poor children who she TORTURES to get her way. Who knows, maybe he was standing up for himself at school and got a card simply because he was involved? Shes horrible. She is a monster. I can't stand looking at her. Please save the children. And I pray with all I've got that the child grows to become a proper man. It might even be too late with the way that woman tainted him. Help him!
I am SICKENED by this woman. SICK! For anyone who says this is not abuse - you need your head (and heart) examined. She needs to LOVE these children - not do more harm!! I am really holding back with the language here....or my comment would be PLENTY longer. What I wouldn't do to her in a dark alley.
She is an EVIL BI*CH-her and tough ass behavior, screaming at the child-hot sauce? cold shower? and screaming the whole time? Way to parent, she is basically damaging this child for life. Ever read the book "IT"? Highest form of child abuse. You can bet there is a lot more going on with her abusing this child than was filmed-that was a 'peek' of what goes on behind closed doors. May she rot in HELL.
To everyone who is saying this is not that bad, I dare you to step into a cold shower from Alaska, Montana, anywhere far north. the water coming out is so cold it is painful. I am from the north and know just how sadistic this is. That poor child will never be able to over come his reactive attachment when treated with so little compassion. Being in his face and screaming does not make him want to be better, torturing him with hot sauce and cold showers do not change behavior. Positive reinforcement of correct behavior and appropriate measure for misdeeds is what brings up healthy well adjusted children. Kudos to her for adopting, but this is not how you treat FAMILY, or anyone really!
My 7 year old came home with his discipline chart last night, last Monday (it had been a week) he received 3 cards, 2 for rough playing, and 1 for speaking while the teacher spoke. I asked my son why he hadn't told me sooner, he expressed concern over "getting in trouble". I re-iterated the importance of ALWAYS telling me the truth, and we began homework. This is a CHILD we're speaking of. It boggles my mind that someone would think that raising their child in this way will enable them to grow up into a functioning adult. YOU ARE DOING MORE HARM THAN GOOD! My son has a tonne of friends, the highest marks in the class, and has never been abused either mentally, physically, or emotionally. SHAME ON YOU, may GOD have a mercy on your soul. Sincerely, a Catholic
I am deeply concerned about the manor this woman treats her child. Since I have two kids and one of them not always easy to go with, I can't stand to see something like this. It breaks my heart.
I hope that Kristoff get's a better family as soon as possible... together with her other kids.
All the best wishes to him and the other kids from Switzerland
the woman in that video is an evil person
I want to fart in her face.
I would LOVE to tie this woman up, put hot sauce in her mouth, duct tape her mouth and throw her in a cold shower. What a pathetic excuse for a mother and human being.
RE: the maw, GIP
id love to stand her at the top of some stairs and push her down like a surfer
her day will come
So for those thinking this was OK and the child learned....why did he get the yellow card?! He was tortured for that yellow card and she never told him why he got the card thus why he was being punished. All that kid knows is cards are bad and if I get one I will be harmed. He learned nothing. The discipline failed. He will inevitably do whatever it was again because the 40 year old couldn't figure out that the 7 year old forgot what each card was given to him for!! And she never told him!!! Other than fear of the unknown what did he learn!!!!???? No, this is sick because this women gets joy out of this. As long as those kids mess up she gets to be the shephard leading them to the path of righteousness.
Not a good idea to suggest where the kids go to school, considering people's emotions around this particular topic.
It is sick in this day & age where ppl agree with this abuse, we are NOT living in the dark ages or times past to some on here who reminisce not having hot water <! It is abuse in this era END OF ! I think she wanted this child to be taken away, thats why she went on the show, her next form of abuse could have ended in death.. She is not alone in this , her "husband" and mother knew & did nothing ! "Law abiding ppl huh??? Land of the "free" ... free to do what is wrong.... so Make it right ! Jail them ! Its ABUSE ! ON TAPE.. ..
Jack Mormon, your response does not contain Christian love.
The mother learned in the Old Testament that physical abuse of a child is sanctioned by God. True, the book says not to spare the rod, but that doesn't mean to beat the child with the rod continuously for 5 minutes.
Effective child rearing? This woman knows very well that what she is doing will not work. She is doing it to flex her own muscles; not to change the child's behavior. She is embarrassed by the 3 cards the child earned at school. If her child had hit another child and not gotten caught, I doubt she would have reacted so angrily and violently. And that is indeed aggression: screaming at the child as HE is taking a cold shower. By the way, that is water that runs under the ground in ALASKA, not Florida! In the summer, our cold tap water is tepid; in the winter, it is cold. I hope at the very least this woman has washed her own mouth out for one minute with hot sauce and showered herself in cold Alaska water. Then multiply that experience by 10 because children's bodies are much more sensitive to pain than adults'.
This woman is teaching her child that it's bad to hurt someone your own age. It's only good to hurt someone who can't in any way defend himself. By the way, that's also called cowardice.
Anonymoous said: ''You may not agree with her methods, but how would you take it if you didn't discipline your child and he gets charged with manslaughter at 17 for killing someone over a bit of cash?
Would that then be the parents' fault, or the child's? ''
Well, there is a better way to discipline child! First I would sit and talk with him about what happened so he can understand why it's not ok and how he should have acted at school or at home... It is way more effective because if the child is not told the reasons, why, and how, he's got no other tools to deal with situations and his emotions. For exemple: If his parents are aggressive and over disciplining him (or abusing him) all he is learning is being aggressive and he will acting bad at school and with other people because that's what he sees everyday at home!
Poor little boy. Not good for self-esteem either :(
I have never had to have hot sauce in my mouth or take a cold shower for punishment. And I´m sure that kind of punishment would have made me every bit of nervous and anxious as the spankings I received made me.
I was spanked pretty much every day from I was seven until I was thirteen. Even on days where I thought I had been good and didn´t deserve a spanking, a reason was usually found for why I needed to be spanked. Believe me, there is nothing constructive about hitting someone so hard they can´t even cry because their breath catches in their chest.
Just to clarify: Emotional abuse is as bad as (or even worse than) physical abuse.
I tried to find a way to word this eloquently, but failed. So here goes:
I hope that camel faced hellspawn is kicked continously in the cunt for the rest of her life.
And as for that poor boy? I hope to god that he and his siblings are taken out of that household and brought to a loving home.
not that bad?
If this is the typical reaction from Mormons, no wonder you have the rep you do.
That angry woman was abusive to a little boy, said she basically resents him and wanted her own children etc. Shows no remorse when confronted. Even the father justified the cold shower with him learning it in the Military.
No excuse for these sorry sonsofbitches. They need their kids taken away, and anyone else doing the same and thinking it is ok I would love to have a few minutes with you in a private room, just you and I. 7 yr olds cannot protect themselves, I can.
Shame on all of you who defend this abuse. No wonder we have so many messed up people in the world.
I feel the woman was on a power trip more than anything, and is so controlling that she can't stand being lied to. As a result she resorted to torture. When I was in the army I once was forced to take a cold shower for not even half the time little Kristoff was forced to. It was a miserable painful experience. The physical discomfort of a cold shower is terrible. What boggles my mind the most is how can the mother listen to her son scream in such agony and not have a heart. All I want to hear is that this little child has been taken away and put in a loving home, and that the mother has been arrested. She showed no remourse or feeling on Dr. Phil because she has a sociopathic personality.
Being a former Mormon I can tell you that religion has a little to do with it. Mormonism has a way of making women feel like failures if their kids like to color outside the lines, and don't fit into the mold of want a good Mormon child should be. Words like obedience and reverence are drilling into the child's head, as well as the parents in that it's their sole responsibility to teach their children those things.
Just looking at this video I can tell this mother is under a HUGE amount of pressure to make her son comply, behave and not embarrass her. To her the way her son behaves in an extension of her, when he misbehaves in school it makes her look bad so of course she takes it out on him. She’s most likely very depressed and needs medication if she already isn't on it.
What Jessica did - she tortured the child for being lied. Now, when she is under criminal investigation, she should be crystally trustful with the investigators and judge to demonstrate to whole nation how she loves the truth.
This is unbelievably upsetting. I adopted two Russian orphans with reactive attachment disorder and would never have treated them like this. They need to know they are loved and if I were in this little guy's shoes, I would be sure my mother hated me. This child is definitely being abused psychologically. No wonder his twin brother is perfectly behaved!! This mother seriously needs parenting lessons and a focus on repentance by having the courage to see the evil in her own heart, not focus on his "lies" to avoid hot sauce and icy showers. Mormonism has nothing to do with it. If she cannot handle her children in a more compassionate way, she should not be their mother.
I'm a Russian and there's a lot of debate about banning American adopters here. Personally, after seeing this, I'm all for it. It's been way too much abuse on Russian kids in the States. You people are just not worthy of our children. Rot in hell. Thank you.
One of the most disgusting things I have ever seen. Bad enough to use hot sauce on a child, but to put them under a cold shower as they scream and try to answer her relentless questions? That's just cruel. I seem nothing redeeming in that whatsoever.
This is my two cents: I know the family; they are very private when not at church. However, on the rare occasions they are in public, I have seen a glimpse of what happens behind closed doors to these kids. For the record, I want to clarify some untruths reported by the media: The family consists of three older natural daughters, the two russian adopted sons and the youngest child is a natural son. The tap water that comes out of our faucets in Anchorage is just above 32 degrees. A cold shower in AZ is 100 times different than a cold shower here. Gary states that they 'use cold showers to teach discipline in the military' Well, I am not sure what military he was in but the military I served in for 27 years never used cold showers for disciplinary reasons. In my mind, he should be charged as well for condoning the abuse. And this is for Maloy: Please don't jusge all Americans for what Jessica has done. We are not all like this.
She should be forced to wear a locked on masque of shame for her actions for a year.
This so called "loving" mother, so called "caring" person is the devil reincarnate!!!! For those of you who are posting "so what, we got worse type of discipline", you have obviously and mentally have been affected by what your so called loving parents have done to YOU till this day! So I don't care what you have to say about my post, but reply if you wish just so I can get the validation that I'm right!!! From the video this child is no more than a tortured little boy with no sign of love from this woman! She looks at him in hopes that she can take her anger out on him. For her so called lawyer, please!!! I've been in the legal field for over 25+ years and 10 of that was in domestic law. For him to say she didn't do "ANYTHING" is just disgusting!!!! She may not have left a bruise on any of her children, but she is ABSOLUTELY IS CAUSING VERBAL AND MENTAL ABUSE ON THIS CHILD and who knows how she speaks to her OTHER children. When her attorney said that there would be no uproar if it wasn't shown on tv, well.....thank god for this child that she did (unbennounced to her that it would bite her in the ass) this worked against her! I pray that the judge and other legal enforcement on this case will see that the MENTAL ANGUISH and trust issues she has caused for this child in the long run will last longer than any bruise, broken bone any child would endure in their life. He is going to need so much counseling. I am truly appalled at how these children are still w/this woman....and I say "Woman", she DOES NOT deserve god's gift of calling her "MOTHER"!!!!! Please make sure she gets punished for her torture towards this boy...and possibly the father as well!
Cold water coming from an Alaska tap is freezing. It is PAINFUL. And to have your mother screaming in your face while you're undergoing the shock of freezing water is TRAUMATIC. This poor little boy deserves SO MUCH BETTER. God help that woman. We all lose our tempers sometimes, and normal people are sorry for it--but this woman shows NO REMORSE. She deserves jail time, until she recognizes her wrongdoing. Those other poor children--what have they had to endure?
You have a few misconceptions here. First of all, it wasn't a "little" hotsauce -- he had to have his mouth full of it. Secondly, hotsauce is NOT a harmless substance. It can cause chemical burns -- especially in young children who have more delicate skin. Also, a cold shower can actually cause shock and hypothermia, once again, especially in young children. Finally, this mother was PROUD of her parenting skills. She sent this tape to Dr. Phil to brag about what a good parent she was. A GOOD parent, however, would not torture a child with issues -- a good parent would have gone to a professional child psychologist right off the bat.
This woman's behavior is not admirable in any way. You do not adopt children and then torture them because they have issues. And yes, this behavior was torture.
"To more easily compare forms of torture, the researchers divided events into seven broad categories: sexual torture; physical torture; psychological manipulations, such as threats of rape or witnessing the torture of others; humiliating treatment, including mockery and verbal abuse; exposure to forced stress positions, such as bondage with rope or other restrictions of movement; loud music, cold showers and other sensory discomforts; and deprivation of food, water or other basic needs."
http://www.anxietyinsights.info/read/page/127128605.htm
I'm the poster up above. I don't normally post as an anonymous but for some reason I couldn't sign on to my google ID here. So, for the record, I go by Rebeckah.
I visited Jessica Beagley's blog before it was "restricted". It was 100% propaganda about how wonderful she and her family were.
I did not see her admitting any difficulty with the kids, asking for help or even admitting there was a problem. She is in deep denial.
As for the "hostile" audience mentioned in the article above, there were a few harsh comments, but most of the women were in shock, with TEARS streaming down their face.
Mrs. Beagley had one of the other kids tape her abusive behavior; she sent the tape in to Dr. Phil expecting to be PRAISED for her control over this young boy.
As I type this, Mrs. Beagley is going to court to defend herself against child abuse charges. She was smart enough to not leave a physical mark.
I guess she decided her to tell Dr. Phil and his professional child therapists to go stuff it. He did offer her counseling and support after the show.
As I watched the tape, I felt it was more about POWER and CONTROL through pain and humiliation than an effort to understand why a little boy might want to play with his friends rather than sit at a desk.
Shame on her.
That mother pleaded not guilty to charges of child abuse!?
Gosh - she's just like her adoptive son, lying about her cruelty towards him! She must have pulled three cards in her mind for yelling at his teary face, pouring Tapatio (the hot sauce she used in the video) in his mouth, having him hold it before spitting has she grills him for lying, and gives him a cold shower!
This IS child abuse. That woman needs to be put down.
I was Mormon for 47 years and I can tell you, this "spare the rod, spoil the child" mentality came from Joseph Smith, one of the worlds greatest charlatans.
I've seen strict Mormon parents who act like this for years. I've even stepped in on many occasions to defend the children.
I'm Atheist now. Mormonism is just plain wrong.
Commended for adopting? This evil, sick animal adopting children just gave her more to abuse. She needs to have ALL of her kids removed and she needs to be put away for life.
This woman isn't fit to raise a dog let alone a child. She should be shot for abusing that little boy. Regardless of her religious beliefs, she makes me sick.
I can't believe I saw this. It brought tears to my eyes. Whom would do this to their child and then put them in a cold shower! Because of the fight at school starts with this at home. He can't fight back at his mom so he retaliates at school to get his anger out. This is revolting!
One question, would you do this to an adult, to an animal? No. So why would one do it to a child. As a recipient of child abuse I'll tell you this poor little boy will NEVER forget this horrible treatment at the hands of someone he obviously trusted. He'll grow up to dispise this woman and her family for not protecting him. Whatever happened to sitting down with ones child and discussing a problem and does this witch even question why the boy is acting out in school. No doubt it's due to the abuse he receives at home. I hope he is removed from that family and given a good and loving home. As for those monsters, they need to get their heads checked.
She was on Dr Phil because SHE wrote to him and her daughter filmed it. At least Dr. Phil was willing to help her find resources out here to assist her with the issue. TO say this would not have come to light if it were not on Dr. Phil....SHE wrote in. Maybe that WAS her cry for help?!
I am a Mormon mother and i have to say that when i saw this video i became sick to my stomach. This women clearly brings shame to the Mormon name. I can promise you that we are not taught to treat our children or anyone this way. I hope she receives the discipline through the church & state and also psychiatric help. People need to realize that actions like these are NOT okay. If she were my children's leader at church, there is no way I would trust her with the spiritual welfare of my children. We are taught to be like Christ and I know that Christ would never pour hot sauce into anyone's mouth, scream at them while they are forced to hold the hot sauce in, have them strip naked and climb into a COLD shower, all while yelling and interrogating them over and over like a broken record.
THIS IS TORTUROUS ABUSE NOT CHRISTLIKE AT ALL!!!
IT'S CHILD ABUSE. I think it's atrocious that you would post an article that clearly defends this woman's actions which are down right mean. This is extremely harsh punishment where OBVIOUS lesser punishments would have OBVIOUSLY worked. She has no right to use TORTUROUS methods of discipline, especially on a child she adopted. The LAST thing this child was hoping for is a mother to hurt him this way and cause him enough physical pain to make him scream and cry. HORRIBLE MOTHER and you are a HORRIBLE PERSON for trying to defend her. It's child abuse, so OBVIOUSLY wrong it's sickening. That kid needs help and so do you.
BTW you Jesus freaks need to realize that he would be in shock over this. IT IS THAT BAD, and it in NO WAY condones his message of love
Uuhh my heart goes out to all of the Beagley children, especially those who were adopted. I'll be praying for them. As for the mormon aspect of it. Well it seems to me like they should stand up and say they dont' support her or any of her actions. Why does her religion matter at all. Abuse is abuse, whether you attend regular services or not. Poor mormons she's given them all a raw deal here. Demoralizing a small child in such a fashion is just appalling. For anyone who supports her, enroll in parenting classes right now. For any adult who doesn't think it's that bad, well invite in your neighbor, strip naked and hop into an icey shower and see how great you feel about yourself then. There is no way that this child feels loved. He must ask himself every single day why was I born, why does no one love me. Why can my "sister" videotape my torture and not stand up for me, where is my dad? HOw does anyone think that this is acceptable? Makes me sad to be a part of a human race when even one single person says oh it's not that bad, it's just hot sauce. You can take toys away, give time outs, put a child in the corner, take away dessert at dinner, take away cartoons, but you can not strip them naked in front of siblings and force them into icey showers over a squabble with a classmate over a pencil. If his behavior was so so so awful wouldn't he of been sent to special needs school? All kids have the capacity to be naughty and if this is how she teaches them, well she has a nice future visiting them in maximum lock up facility after they become serial killers or some other variety of criminal. My prayers for all of these children will be permanent. My heart is sick to know that the majority of anchorage folks support these monsters. At least that is what i read, and I just can not believe that these children were not removed. In any other case the kids would be yanked then the mother charged, they would not be forced to stay in the home where they are continually abused, dehumanized, demoralized, humiliated. I hope her husbands strips her and throws her into a cold shower in front of all the neighbors, let her see how it feels. And to say other dicipline methods hadnt' worked, just a pathetic excuse trying to rationalize her abuse of this beautiful child. I have no doubt she'll be spending a long painful eternity in hell.
I read an article on CBS that the Russian government will be reclaiming both of her adopted children if she is found guilty. Their government is outraged by this video and also previous abuse of Russian children that has been adopted by U.S. parents. Now all adoptions are being on hold indefinitely. So sad!!!
The picture of the Savior in the hallway above Jennifer's head might serve as a better reminder of His love of little children. He said: "But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea." (Matthew 18:16)Discipline is a necessary ingredient in successful parenting no doubt but hot sauce should be for the table and cold showers for hormone riddled teens or menopausal women.
I am an adoptive parent and there is no way I would use any of these methods on my sons. I simply love them far too much for that. They came to us at various stages of their lives, after being abused and/or neglected. They are all, now, all 11 of them, part of my heart and my soul. Even with the problems they faced prior to coming to our family, we never, ever used physical punishments on any of them. Now, three of them are college graduates and one is an FBI agent. We have a long way to go because we have twins that are nine, but I wouldn't change our lives for all the tea in China. She is abusive and needs to be held accountable for this. Children are to be treasured, and if you are doing it right, time outs work beautifully.
I bet her husband abuses people in custody. I bet we hear some things about that in the very near future. I hope that they both rot in hell.
And no one has mentioned the other twin. Imagine how this must hurt him as well. He can't help his brother. Jessica thinks that she has a "connection" with the one twin and not Kristoff. She's outside her mind! The true connection is between Kristoff and his twin. Not the abusers, Gary and Jessica. Man would I love to get my hands on her> BIG TIME!!!!!
I believe his teachers also knew what was happening> Shame on them!!!!!!!!!
I would like to clarify, that although I have 11 adopted boys, we are not Mormon. We saw a need and attempted to fill it. We also have three biological children as well. Not all Mormons, or Catholics, (as we are) are prolific in their childbearing and honestly? I don't think we fit into that category because we adopted.
i'm with you Rebo
The facts are pretty clear, this bitch is a child abuser. Her piece of shit police officer husband is just as guilty according to the Alaska Statutes. They BOTH need to receive their due punishment in jail by the other inmates who will no doubt be waiting for them. Lastly, who the hell does her hair? The skank looks an awful lot like my poodle does when she comes home from the groomers!!!
"Washing a kid's mouth out with hot sauce is preferable to washing his mouth out with soap; at least hot sauce can be consumed without ill effects"
Really? Interesting because there was a mother at a school in my area turned in not too long ago for "hot saucing" her child and he had blisters all in the back of his mouth. Is that not an ill effect in your book?
It is in mine.
I hope she is able to get the help and guidance she needs and she is able to learn to love this little boy and discipline him with rational punishments that work. Clearly hot saucing and cold showers are not working and it's excessive and abusive as far as I am concerned. I am praying for the recovery of their relationship and for her to learn how to effectively love and parent this child without him being sent back to Russia and facing such a huge, damaging rejection.
"For her to learn to love and parent this child" ?? Are you serious??
No, I'm sorry, she's not a child. She's a grown woman and she's already shown she can't be trusted with the life of a child. No, there can be no 2nd chances when abuse such as this has already been proven.
I pray Alaska also sees it this way and finds that child a decent home.
Love his heart, he tried to be tough, did you notice that he didn't even start really crying until the shower? And really, what is she trying to teach him? In all probability, he will grow up to be a father and husband some day. Is she trying to teach him to never stand up for himself? Or to never have any personality of his own?
As for the twin, yes, it is common for abusive parents to choose one child vent their hostilities on while they love and nurture the other one. I've seen it and I've seen the effects of it and it's incredibly sad.
Please Alaska... protect this child.
As far as religion is concerned though... I don't believe this had a thing to do with Mormon teachings.
To say it does would be the same as saying every black person is a thief or every white person is a pervert.
I hope we've come far enough to know better than to generalize in such a way.
And one more thing: No people did not take cold baths before they had hot water heaters, or cold showers either, for that matter. If they didn't "go to the trouble" of heating the water, they did let it warm to room temp at least and they bathed in front of a fire. And they didn't take showers. And even if they did poke some holes in a bucket and let it trickle over them... it was a BUCKET of water... NOT several minutes of icy Alaskan water.
I simply just can not fathom how anyone could even question that this was abuse.
In my former capacity as a judge, I would have no problem in finding probable cause to issue arrest warrants for this women, least of all for child abuse. I would call into serious question why the Anchorage Police Department is protecting one of their own for obvious dereliction of duty and malfeasance in office since the husband, a sworn law enforcement officer, allowed this act or these acts to be committed with his knowledge and/or in his presence. Using his military discipline experience with the "cold shower" technique is inappropriate and abusive for a 7-year old child. Child Protective Services is also not blameless since their investigators have failed to act in the face of video recordings of abusive conduct occurring.
Religious affiliation is no defense.
Unfortunately, this was also on the Dr. Phil show for "entertainment" purposes bearing in mind that "Dr" Phil is not a licensed therapist.
This is child abuse, plain and simple. It's torture. This is a 7-year-old boy, who was adopted just a couple of years ago. This is not an unruly teenager, who is more mature and understanding of the consequences of his actions. This is a 7-year-old boy! To even conceive of inflicting these acts on a child is the result of a sick mind. This woman should be in prison and not allowed around ANY children. The fact that anyone at all is defending her, let along trying to paint it as some sort of Mormon or Alaskan witch hunt, is pitiful. What she does to this poor boy is horrible.
This video breaks my heart.
I know of a woman in Alaska many years ago, who was accused of some sort of abuse, and she was found guilty... it was a situation where a relative coached a child to accuse her. She was not even allowed to be within a certain distance of ANY child after that. I am shocked that the authorities did not remove all the children from their home as the investigation began. I'm sure she will force her children to lie in court about everything.
And what's to investigate? It's right there on video. This abuse is ongoing, as you hear right from her mouth in the video: "and what happens when you lie? What happens when you pull a card? You get hot sauce. You get a cold shower."
There are so many cases where authorities take children away and ask questions later, and here we have an "obvious" problem and the children are left with them?
Shame on the parents, AND shame on the authorities!
I live in Alaska and year round the water is so cold that it HURTS to wash your hands if you don't warm it up. It is so cold that the inside of our toilets are lined with foam to keep them from forming condensation. This could stop a persons heart. This woman is bad and so is her husband to allow it. I do think her position in the Mormon Church plays a part in her behavior. I live in a very Mormon area and have tried to talk and be friendly with people and have been treated very poorly by them. I am a Christian and do not judge people I am shocked at the way the Mormons I have met treat other Christians. The Mother is a perfect example of the cold, cruel, harsh Mormons I have tried to get to know. I hope they are a small rep. of the Church.
Recently, two Mormon women in the UK used hot pepper sauce and other abusive techniques to discipline the children of one of the women.
Both women were jailed for their abuse.
Nobody should be commended for adoption - it is not some act of charity. I am an adoptive mama of a child with attachment issues, and this video left me shaking. She is terrifying, just in her words, her tone of voice, her body language - let alone the torture. Please please somebody rescue those children from that creature. That poor baby is so small, so scared and his screams went through my heart.
watching things such as these makes me so glad that Im in school to be a social worker.. this lady does not deserve to have children
I am a member of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints. I abhor this type of behavior. Our values are to support the home and raise eternal loving families. A place where children can feel safe and loved. I can't express in words how I feel. This woman knows nothing of the principles of the gospel and I am sad to see such horrific behavior. She should not carry the name of the Savior. She knows nothing of the worth of a soul and the consequences she will receive from her actions. I pray she falls down to her knees and begs for forgiveness. She has disgraced the gospel, God's laws, brought shame, and given a bad name where none is deserved. None. Weep, sister. Weep. I weep for you and that child full of innocence. He deserves much much better.
was the teacher aware of the type of
punishment he would receive at home
for being carded?
My sister taught in a school where
some children were disiplined at home
unjustly for bad grades. She would often give better grades. to prevent it.
This is totally child abuse by Mormon and non-mormon standards.
Mormon beliefs STATE that children are NOT ACCOUNTABLE to understand the difference between right and wrong until the age of 8. At no time should they be made to feel guilty but gently guided and LOVED.
The human in me wants to tip hot sauce down her neck and see how she likes a month of cold showers. BUT I suspect she's already had some sort of mental abuse as a child otherwise this wouldn't be her default behaviour.
The one thing I hate is that people hide behind religion as an excuse for their behaviour.
I AM A MORMON and this woman and her husband both make me ashamed to admit that we are linked in our religion.
ALL of her children need to be temporarily placed with other family or foster families until the parents have been taught, tested and monitored.
CHILDREN DESERVE TO GROW UP IN A HOME DEVOID OF FEAR. "Discipline" is not instilling FEAR.
Having children is a refining fire for US to become our best.
She failed.
I am surprise how many people think she is a monster. How is this any different then our moms washing our mouths out with soap. At least she is trying to correct her childs behavior rather than these days people letting their kids do anything and everything they want.
I am shocked that this many people think she should loose her children! I feel bad for her that she feels like she has no control. I feel bad for the boy who doesn't seem to be understanding how to make good choices... but she is no monster. If anything... I think the people who are spewing so much hate and angry her way are the monsters.
Washing your mouth out with soap is unpleasant, but not painful and tortuous like hot sauce! The kid is SEVEN. It's disgusting that this lady is allowed to raise children in 21st century America. I hope she serves time.
Thanks for taking the time to discuss this, I feel strongly about it and love learning more on this topic. If possible, as you gain expertise, would you mind updating your blog with more information? It is extremely helpful for me.
The intellectually constipated toxic Jessica acts out and over reacts to everything and somehow she expects her constant toxic behavior not to be emulated by the children?
It is she, herself whom is causing her children to have inappropriate responses to everyday events/issues.
A woman who has no respect for the cycles of childhood obviously has the selfish motives of 'becoming a goddess' as her only reason for parenting.
This has NOTHING to do with Mormons. This woman is disgusting and deserves to have all rights of having children taken away from her. Other Mormons have their stomachs turning about this case, because Mormons are all taught about family and how to keep your family healthy. This post is rediculous being on the "Truth about Mormons" Blog.
I just don't see it as abuse myself. (A food product and a chilly shower?) I see it as a desperate, wits end attempt to get a childs behavior under control. Parenting a child with behavioral issues can be SO frustrating.. Frankly, I think the biggest problem here is how quick everyone rushes to judge, rather than trying to lend a caring, helping hand. What happened to "it takes a village to raise a child?". If you know or see a mom at her wits end, offer a helping hand, a little break, a kind word...something. It's downright bizarre and disturbing to see all these threats and the amount of hatred spewed over a family struggling. :(. Parents will become afraid to ask for help if they need it.
Someone needs to direct her to D&C 121: 39-43
39 We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little bauthority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion.
40 Hence many are called, but few are chosen.
41 No apower or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the bpriesthood, only by cpersuasion, by dlong-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;
42 By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile—
43 Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;
Note that the footnote on sharpness leads to D&C 15: 2 which says: For behold, I speak unto you with sharpness and with power, for mine arm is over all the earth.
The Lord is is being verbally sharp. He did not shove Joseph Smith into a freezing shower. Sharpness does not mean physical punishment, rather verbal/educational correction.
Nothing about what she did is following LDS church teachings. I don't see any kindness here, no increase of love. Instead she has far passed sharpness and is well into abuse, and is giving this child much reason to esteem her to be his enemy.
Mormon christians ha ha thats a bloody joke, in Cowra Australia we have members ripping off the government, sleeping around and doing shady deals, yes that a real mormon, I too have begun to hate this religion, no christian values what so ever, as long as they can rip off the Australian government that what counts, oh then bullshit about what they donate, yeah real christian values, dont make me gag, and whats with the bloke being over 20 years older than the wife, seems rife in this so called religion
Have you ever had to sit with hot sauce in your mouth that was too hot for it?? Or how about this you're in a sweatshirt and jeans let's say your body temp is 98.7 and you are demanded to take off your clothes and submerged into 64 degree water maybe even colder and you can possibly go into shock!! This woman is a monster and shouldn't be allowed to be called a mother!! She is evil and a disgrace to us hard working mothers on this planet!! Maybe she needs to take some punishment herself in these forms?!? I can understand why this child is so disobedient if I was punished like that (and obviously not loved) my heart would be conflicted with what is right and what is wrong!!!!! This woman should be spat on for treating this child this way among other things!!!
Yay Ray! Someone sane on this old thread
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