More Validation Of Elaine S. Dalton's "Guardians Of Virtue" Speech; The Story Of Alleged Rape Victim Tucker Reed, Who Reported Her Rape 22 Months After The Fact

During the 2011 General Young Women Meeting of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the then-General President of Young Women, Elaine S. Dalton, delivered a talk entitled "Guardians Of Virtue", in which she counseled young women to avoid the type of behavior that would encourage sexual objectification. But some Mormon feminists complained that it was a "terrible metaphor", and that she was trying to minimize and excuse male misbehavior, and shift too much of the burden for encouraging virtuous behavior on the part of men towards women. Basically, Sister Dalton was telling the young woman that if they don't want to be treated like whores, don't dress and act like whores in public. Good preventive medicine.

And I've found a superb example illustrating the wisdom of Sister Dalton's counsel. Tucker Reed is not an LDS member, but her story epitomizes why women need to avoid communicating ambiguously about their intentions towards physical intimacy, and why they must report rape and other forms of sexual abuse PROMPTLY. Tucker Reed is the subject of a libel lawsuit by an individual she's accused of raping her. When the system did not take her claims seriously, Reed decided to name her alleged assailant and discuss her experiences publicly, which triggered the suit. She discusses her experiences and the reaction on several posts published on her personal blog, Covered In Bandaids. The only media account I could find was on the MS Blog.

Summary: Tucker Reed also outlined her experiences on XOJane. Her story begins on December 3rd, 2010, when she and her boyfriend attended a holiday party hosted by fellow students at the University of Southern California. They had just begun dating two weeks prior, and she was a virgin at the time because she believed that the intimacy of intercourse was an emotional and spiritual act that should not be casually shared. In any event, Reed took her boyfriend back to her apartment and allows him to take her clothes off. She then led him into the bedroom. Naturally, her boyfriend believed that she wanted to have intercourse. But surprise, surprise -- she suddenly throws up a STOP sign and said that she wasn't ready to go all the way, and that having sex so soon would ruin the relationship. But the boyfriend persisted, and pressured her into yielding.

Reed initially decided to write it off as a misunderstanding. She even continued to date the guy, because he said he was in love with her and eventually wanted to marry her. But she had lingering misgivings, and when she disclosed the experience to her best friend a year later, her friend told her in no uncertain terms that she was a rape victim. Armed with that counsel, Reed then sought counseling at the USC Health Center, but this didn't pan out, and so she decided to confront her boyfriend directly over the December 2010 encounter. Her boyfriend initially claimed he couldn't remember anything about that night, undoubtedly using the alcohol excuse, then said something remarkably insensitive. She quotes him as saying "What did you expect? A bed covered in rose petals? Nobody gets that. I didn't get that. I wanted to fuck, I needed to fuck, so I fucked. And, whatever, I guess I'm just the asshole who raped you".

Obviously, this guy is a world-class asshole. After suffering from psychological problems, Tucker Reed decided to take her quest for justice one step further. In October 2012, after her friend made a passing comment that she should have recorded the conversation she'd had with her now ex-boyfriend when he confessed to the rape, Reed arranged to make a recording and induce her ex-boyfriend into confessing to forcing her to have sex with him, which he did multiple times. She then provided those recordings to the police in November 2012 and to the university in December 2012. She also wanted the university to expel her ex-boyfriend from school, even before he had been tried and convicted. However, USC staffers argued that to do that would be punitive at that point, asserting that the school's adjudication process is meant to be rehabilitative and educative. The ex-boyfriend told university officials that the encounter was consensual, and that she tricked him into providing false confessions, insisting that he confessed to a crime he did not commit only because he thought she would not leave him alone until he had done so.

Because Tucker Reed believed that police and the university were blowing her off, she decided to publicly shame the alleged rapist. After receiving affirmative advice from two attorneys, Reed posted the man's name online, along with an account of what he did. And now she's on the receiving end of a libel suit. In response to comments posted to her account on XOJane, Tucker Reed has posted a specific reply on Covered In Bandaids which addresses the major questions posed after she publicized her story; it's worth reading and it seems intellectually honest. But here are three reasons why she might lose the lawsuit:

(1). She got naked and led the guy into the bedroom. Obviously, a woman has the right to say No at any time; I was always taught this by the LDS Church. But in today's sexualized culture, if a woman gets naked and leads you into a bedroom, it's considered to be consent by most guys.

(2). She failed to report it promptly. If you have a nonconsensual sexual experience, you do NOT wait 22 months to report it to the authorities; you do so promptly. It might be excusable for a 12-year-old girl who has no experience with the world to be afraid to report rape, but it is not excusable for a grown woman to be afraid to report it. Furthermore, a person who's been raped should never allow a religious leader to talk him or her out of going to the police, and should never feel guilty about having been raped.

(3). She continued to date her assailant. This alone will probably kill her case. Why would a rational woman continue to date someone she considered a rapist? It's not as if she was being held hostage like Elizabeth Smart.

The harsh truth is that if this libel suit actually makes it to a jury trial, the jury is likely to rule in favor of the man. Read the reaction on this discussion thread on the relatively-uncensored F2 Anonboard where people say what they're really thinking (WARNING: There are some bad words on the thread); many of the posters characterize Tucker Reed as a slut who has "buyer's remorse". This is sad, but it represents the current reality.

This is exactly why Elaine Dalton counseled young women to be "guardians of virtue". Above all, they must be guardians of their own virtue, becoming savvy enough to avoid sending ambiguous messages about their sexual availability and getting themselves into these types of situations. Since God's law is not in force on earth, many guys think that if a woman makes it "hard" for them, she has the obligation to make it "soft" for them. Some Muslim countries understand this and require women to dress modestly in public; their premise is that a woman should avoid tempting a man beyond his ability to bear it. This is also why LDS leaders enforce modest dress standards at church services and church-related social events. Elaine Dalton's prevention message helps young women deal with the culture the way it is, and not the way feminist wish it could be. Learn from Tucker Reed's unfortunate experience -- and don't repeat her mistakes.

Former Lingerie Football League Player Krista Ford Validates Elaine Dalton's "Guardians Of Virtue" Speech, Says "Don't Dress Like A Whore"

Some readers of this blog may remember a speech entitled "Guardians of Virtue", delivered by General Young Women President Elaine Dalton during the March 26th, 2011 General Young Women Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Sister Dalton's main premise was that men and women should be guardians of each other and look out for each other as well, but since it was a gathering of women, she focused on how women could serve as guardians of virtue for men. The speech was rigorously panned on the Feminist Mormon Housewives blog as imposing too much responsibility upon women and giving men an escape clause from personal responsibility for their own behavior, although Dalton's daughter, Emi Edgely, just as rigorously defended it.

Now a person who has no connection with the LDS Church has sounded off publicly about provocative dress by women, seemingly validating Sister Dalton's remarks. Krista Ford, a former Lingerie Football League player who's also a niece of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford and the daughter of Toronto Councilor Doug Ford, is under fire for telling women concerned about sexual assault to not "dress like a whore" on Twitter. According to the Toronto Star, Krista Ford took to the microblogging site to offer the controversial advice just an hour after authorities held a news conference about a string of sexual assaults in Toronto.

Ford Tweeted "Stay alert, walk tall, carry mace, take self-defence classes & don't dress like a whore,", adding "#DontBeAVictim #StreetSmart". Although she later deleted the Tweet, criticism was forthcoming. Slut Walk Toronto issued a statement saying, "What Krista said was problematic for many reasons, including placing the onus for preventing sexual assault on a potential victim, pointing to clothes as a reason or inciting factor of sexual assault (time and time again proven to be untrue), and shaming survivors with 'don't dress like a whore'. When anyone says that 'dressing like a whore' makes someone liable to be raped, they're blaming existing survivors for their own victimization." Other critics labeled Ford as hypocritical because she formerly played with the Toronto Triumph of the Lingerie Football League, and is pictured as dressed provocatively on Twitter and Facebook. Other critics called her out for promoting the use of mace, which is considered an illegal weapon in Toronto.