Mormon Messages: Fathers And Sons, Latter-Day Saint Perspectives On Father's Day

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints considers the father to be the patriarch or "president" of the family. But although he rules over his kids, he rules alongside his wife. The mother is a "queen" rather than a subject, even though only men get the Priesthood. But with the "extra" status as president of the family comes extra responsibilities and accountability, as spelled out in Doctrine & Covenants 121:36-37:

36 That the rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness.

37 That they may be conferred upon us, it is true; but when we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man.

Thus if a man uses his Priesthood or patriarchy to abuse his family, the "extra" advantages are immediately cancelled and he is left to his own strength until such time as he makes it right and brings himself back into harmony with the Holy Spirit.

The video embedded below, from the Mormon Messages Channel, documents a boy's struggle to re-kindle his flagging relationship with his father. The father is actually the boy's stepfather; because he and the boy had different interests, they grew apart. But after hearing counsel from M. Russell Ballard, he took action to restore the relationship with his father -- and his father also took some helpful steps:



Elder Ballard urged youth to take three steps to optimize their relationships with their fathers:

(1). Trust your father.
(2). Take an interest in your father's life.
(3). Ask your father for advice.

This is actually part of an address delivered by Elder Ballard at the priesthood session of the 179th Semiannual General Conference held in October 2009. Read the full transcript HERE.

Other less-official LDS perspectives on Father's Day are posted on the Bloggernacle. Some of the more pertinent accounts:

-- Father’s Day: Don’t Men Have Anything Better to Do?, Mormon Mentality. Cites a myriad of statistics from Rasmussen Reports on how people observe Father's Day

-- Father’s Day Reflections, Mormon Matters. Hawkgrrrl opines about Father's Day through the perspective of "kokology", a Japanese parlour game of self-discovery in which you are presented with various scenarios that reveal your deeper-held feelings about whatever the scenario truly represents. Not really into such esoteric pursuits as kokology, but the post may be of interest to some readers.

-- My Father’s Day Sermon, Feminist Mormon Housewives. This is a most insightful post. Reece Dixon, a self-described "feminist" who remains faithful to the LDS Church, presented the text of a Father's Day talk she delivered at her local ward. This post is extremely valuable because it is presented from the perspective of someone who had a abusive relationship with her father earlier in life. Celebrations of Father's Day can rankle in the souls of those who were abused by their fathers; Dixon finds a reasonably diplomatic way to deal with it.

Catholic And LDS Prison Chaplains Hold Forth On Utah's Upcoming Execution Of Ronnie Gardner; LDS Doctrine On The Fate Of Murderers

The execution of Ronnie Gardner by firing squad, scheduled to take place shortly after midnight early on Friday June 18th, 2010, has triggered a lot of commentary. The vast majority of those weighing in support the execution. Gardner tried to deter the execution at the last moment by claiming he was a "changed" man and wanted to live in order to deter young people from following his example. For those interested in learning more about Ronnie Gardner, a Deseret News archive is accessible HERE.

But is Gardner really a changed man? One retired chaplain who once worked at the Utah State Prison believes so. The Deseret News tells us that the retired Catholic chaplain, Rev. Reyes Rodriguez, has looked more than once into the cold stare of an evil man who had done terrible things, and says that Ronnie Gardner was not one of them. "He had a gentleness about him, a humanity about him," said Rodriguez, who worked in the Utah State Prison from 1989-96. "He wasn't a cold, calculating, ugly individual. He was a kind person." Rodriguez said he would pray for Gardner when the inmate is executed Friday.

Matt Fellows, a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, spent more than four years as a chaplain for maximum-security and death-row inmates. He does not specifically recall meeting with Gardner since he customarily avoided contact with death-row inmates unless they specifically requested him. But he said he believed the condemned killer had likely changed during his quarter century behind bars. "I think the problem is we have to get these guys executed much earlier if we're going to do it," Fellows said. "(Gardner is) probably a changed man. He's a different person. The person we're executing Friday is, in a very fundamental way, not the person who committed those crimes. Ask any John or Jane … if they're the same person they were 25 years ago and they would laugh at you. It's not practical to assume that the man who is going to walk the Green Mile, as it were, is the same person. He's had a lot of time to think."

Update: This April 23rd, 2010 Deseret News article indicates that Ronnie Gardner is a former member of the LDS Church, since he refers to his "Mormon heritage". Since this post, Gardner has now met with an LDS bishop who he has known for the past 16 years. The bishop sat on a chair outside Gardner's cell, in an observation port, while Gardner sat on his bunk. There was no word whether Gardner would be allowed any type of LDS blessing before his execution.

It's interesting that Matt Fellows would deliberately avoid death row inmates unless they specifically requested him. This may reflect Mormon doctrine about the eventual disposition of murderers in the spirit world. First, we go to the scriptures for guidance:

Doctrine & Covenants 132:19. And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife by my word, which is my law, and by the new and everlasting covenant, and it is sealed unto them by the Holy Spirit of promise, by him who is anointed, unto whom I have appointed this power and the keys of this priesthood; and it shall be said unto them — Ye shall come forth in the first resurrection; and if it be after the first resurrection, in the next resurrection; and shall inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, dominions, all heights and depths — then shall it be written in the Lamb’s Book of Life, that he shall commit no murder whereby to shed innocent blood, and if ye abide in my covenant, and commit no murder whereby to shed innocent blood, it shall be done unto them in all things whatsoever my servant hath put upon them, in time, and through all eternity; and shall be of full force when they are out of the world; and they shall pass by the angels, and the gods, which are set there, to their exaltation and glory in all things, as hath been sealed upon their heads, which glory shall be a fulness and a continuation of the seeds forever and ever.

Doctrine & Covenants 132:27. The blasphemy against the Holy Ghost, which shall not be forgiven in the world nor out of the world, is in that ye commit murder wherein ye shed innocent blood, and assent unto my death, after ye have received my new and everlasting covenant, saith the Lord God; and he that abideth not this law can in nowise enter into my glory, but shall be damned, saith the Lord.

The key phrases in the two verses cited above are "new and everlasting covenant", and "murder [by] shedding innocent blood". And who is it who is covered by the "new and everlasting covenant"? Members of the LDS Church. So the verses above imply that a member of the LDS Church who has received all possible ordinances and who goes on to commit what we call premeditated murder (first-degree murder or capital murder) can never receive celestial glory. Since they also cannot come forth until the second resurrection, or the resurrection of the unjust, they also cannot receive terrestrial glory. So the most they can hope for is telestial glory, or the lowest of the three heavens. Doctrine & Covenants Section 76 and Chapter 36 of Gospel Fundamentals contain more information about the three degrees of glory, and who shall inherit them.

LightPlanet.com also contains statements and scriptural cites by two past General Authorities describing the final disposition of murderers.

LDS Conservative Activist Keith Kuder Arrested For Suspected Rape Of 17-Year-Old Girl In Orem, Utah, Claims He Was "Set Up"

A politically conservative activist who identifies himself as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on his Facebook site was arrested on Friday June 11th, 2010 after police say he raped a 17-year-old girl. Twenty-five year old Keith Kuder of Orem, Utah was booked into jail on two counts of rape, a first-degree felony, and contributing to the delinquency of a minor, a class B misdemeanor. He has since been released on $1,500 bail. Media stories published by the Deseret News, the Salt Lake Tribune, and KSL Channel 5. This post combines and summarizes key information from all three sources.

Police claim that Kuder met the 17-year-old girl in an online chat room. He then brought her to his home on June 4th, gave her alcohol and raped her, despite her telling him to stop. A few days later, they met again at Kuder's home and he allegedly raped the girl a second time. After Kuder fell asleep, the girl opened his laptop and sent a message to one of Kuder's friends, describing what happened, claiming that she was scared, and asked the friend to come pick her up. The victim said the friend picked her up and took her to the police station.

In response, Kuder denied rape was involved, and said that the girl also had told him she was 20 years old. He also said he believes he was "set up", but refused to explain further and said his lawyer would release a statement later. But the Tribune reports that Kuder has previously been accused of stalking, and a judge in 2008 granted a woman a permanent civil stalking injunction.

According to Facebook, Kuder is presently employed as a marketing director for The Loft in Provo. The Loft is a non-alcoholic nightclub in Provo that serves high school students, college students, and has live concerts. Kuder is known to be active in Utah County politics, and unsuccessfully ran to be the Utah County Republican Party secretary in 2009. In addition to his Facebook site, Kuder also maintains another personal website.

Because Kuder is merely a suspect at this point, the LDS Church won't take action against his membership, although if he holds a calling involving close contact with teenagers, he might be released from that calling as a precautionary measure. Kuder does have a rather impressive personal resume, replicated below (after the jump):

LDS Church Agrees To Pay California FPPC A $5,539 Fine For Late Reporting Of Proposition 8-Related Contributions To Protect Marriage Coalition

On June 8th, 2010, the Deseret News reports that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has agreed to pay a $5,539 fine levied by the California Fair Political Practices Commission (FPPC) for the alleged late reporting of some of the Church's contributions to the Protect Marriage Coalition to get Proposition 8 passed in 2008. Additional stories published by the Salt Lake Tribune, KTVX Channel 4, and KSL Channel 5.

As the state agency for interpreting and enforcing California's campaign finance rules, the FPPC identified 13 instances of non-monetary late contributions made and not timely reported — or the church failing to file daily reports detailing $36,928 in in-kind contributions, including the cost of staff time spent by church employees to help the "Yes on 8" committee. This issue is scheduled to be on the agenda for a June 10th meeting by the FPPC for final approval of the settlement.

In a statement issued by the LDS Church, they acknowledged sloppy bookkeeping, which is not infrequent considering the Byzantine complexity of campaign reporting requirements nowadays, but denied any attempt to deliberately misrepresent their contributions:

All institutional contributions made by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to the Protect Marriage Coalition were reported to the appropriate authorities in California.

In the last two weeks leading up to the election, the Church mistakenly overlooked the daily reporting requirement and instead reported those contributions together in a later filing. The Church appreciates the fairness and consideration with which the Fair Political Practices Commission has addressed this oversight.

Claims that the Church misrepresented its contributions to the Protect Marriage Coalition are false.

The Tribune reports that Fred Karger, who filed the original complaint with the commission, said that the fine validates his allegations that the LDS Church tried to cover up its role in banning same-sex marriage in California. "They have absolutely every right -- as any religious organization, any individual, any business owner, union, whomever -- to be involved," he said. "But they must comply with the law if they are going to be involved in politics. That's what they've been covering up." Karger then added, "My fervent hope is they will get out of this business and go help earthquake victims in Chile or something, but get out of peoples' lives and denying their happiness". Karger is the founder of "Californians Against Hate" and is himself a homosexual.

Joe Solmonese, the president of the homosexual-supremacist Human Rights Campaign, also accuses the Church of intentionally covering their tracks, saying "It's just not credible that a multibillion-dollar, sophisticated organization like the LDS Church didn't know or understand the election-law requirements. California requires early disclosure so voters know who's behind these referendum fights and, clearly, the Mormon Church worked overtime to keep their full involvement hidden from the people of California."

Once again, the LDS Church denies any intended "cover-up".

In 2009, the LDS Church said its total contributions to "Yes on 8" tallied $189,903.58 -- all non-monetary, in-kind contributions such as video production from its studios, church employee time and airfare and lodging costs for church leaders traveling to California for campaign efforts. In all, those contributions were a mere drop in the bucket, totaling less than one percent of the total of $43.3 million raised by Proposition 8 proponents. Opponents raised $39.9 million.

How I Reacted On June 8th, 1978 When LDS President Spencer W. Kimball Announced The Revelation Extending Priesthood Membership To Black Men

There are three historical events which took place during my lifetime in which I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing. The first was on November 22nd, 1963 when President John F. Kennedy was assassinated. The second was on September 11th, 2001, when America was attacked by Islamofascists.

But sandwiched in between is the date June 8th, 1978. That's the day that Spencer W. Kimball, the then-President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, announced that the ban against black men holding the Priesthood has been lifted and that the Priesthood could now be extended to all worthy males in the Church. After the revelation was formally presented and approved unanimously during the 148th LDS Semiannual General Conference on September 30th, 1978, it was canonized and incorporated into the Doctrine & Covenants as Official Declaration 2, reproduced below:

To all general and local priesthood officers of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints throughout the world:

Dear Brethren:

As we have witnessed the expansion of the work of the Lord over the earth, we have been grateful that people of many nations have responded to the message of the restored gospel, and have joined the Church in ever-increasing numbers. This, in turn, has inspired us with a desire to extend to every worthy member of the Church all of the privileges and blessings which the gospel affords.

Aware of the promises made by the prophets and presidents of the Church who have preceded us that at some time, in God’s eternal plan, all of our brethren who are worthy may receive the priesthood, and witnessing the faithfulness of those from whom the priesthood has been withheld, we have pleaded long and earnestly in behalf of these, our faithful brethren, spending many hours in the Upper Room of the Temple supplicating the Lord for divine guidance.

He has heard our prayers, and by revelation has confirmed that the long-promised day has come when every faithful, worthy man in the Church may receive the holy priesthood, with power to exercise its divine authority, and enjoy with his loved ones every blessing that flows therefrom, including the blessings of the temple. Accordingly, all worthy male members of the Church may be ordained to the priesthood without regard for race or color. Priesthood leaders are instructed to follow the policy of carefully interviewing all candidates for ordination to either the Aaronic or the Melchizedek Priesthood to insure that they meet the established standards for worthiness.

We declare with soberness that the Lord has now made known his will for the blessing of all his children throughout the earth who will hearken to the voice of his authorized servants, and prepare themselves to receive every blessing of the gospel.

Sincerely yours,

Spencer W. Kimball
N. Eldon Tanner
Marion G. Romney

The First Presidency

This decision not only opened the way for the Church to further expand in Latin America and the Caribbean, but also opened up the entire continent of Africa. No part of the world is in greater need for the Priesthood than Africa. But while the Church membership as a whole accepted the decision, some of our more guilt-tripping progressive Mormons continue to whine about the fact that blacks had been denied the Priesthood for so long, and impetuously demand that the Church debase itself and "apologize" for it. You can read this Wikipedia entry which presents the history of the ban. But instead of analyzing the decision and agonizing over the past, I believe what is more needed are the simple testimonies of those who were over the age of accountability at the time, and how they were affected. I present my own testimony below.

I was serving in the U.S. Air Force at the time, assigned to Tinker AFB, OK. I was inactive in the Church, but still maintained formal membership. I was living in a dormitory for single low-ranking airman. The vast majority of us were white; some of us, including myself, were "benign racists", meaning that while we didn't much care for blacks, we didn't go out of our way to hassle them, and would work with them when assigned to do so.

I was walking down the hallway to one of the exits. One of my mates had the door to his room open, and his TV was blaring. Suddenly, I heard the announcement that the LDS Church had decided to extend Priesthood membership to blacks. Almost without thinking, I jumped for joy and started "styling and profiling". My mates were looking at me utterly dumbfounded, saying in effect "Is this the same so-and-so we've come to know"?

After "coming back down to earth", so to speak, I explained to my mates that this decision had much more to do with eternity than with mortality. I explained that because of the revelation, black men (and, by extension, their wives) could now enjoy the fulness of the Gospel and be able to undergo all the ordinances thereof, to include temple marriage, sealing of children, and the endowment. Black men could now fill full-time missions for the Church. Just because I didn't much care for blacks at the time didn't mean I wanted them cut off from these eternal blessings; in fact, I was always a bit discomfited personally by the Priesthood ban. It seemed like President Kimball had lifted a huge monkey off our backs.

My own attitude towards blacks slowly became more tolerant as a result of the revelation.

There were also more practical considerations for the change. Church leaders soon realized that a proposed temple for Sao Paulo, Brazil, would be off limits to too many Brazilian Church members because, due to large-scale historical race-mixing, many had black blood. At the time, the Church used the one-drop theory. This caused President Kimball to labor even more earnestly with the Lord for authority to end the ban. Finally, after much discussion among the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles on this matter, they engaged the Lord in prayer one more time. According to the writing of one of those present, "It was during this prayer that the revelation came. The Spirit of the Lord rested upon us all; we felt something akin to what happened on the day of Pentecost and at the Kirtland Temple. From the midst of eternity, the voice of God, conveyed by the power of the Spirit, spoke to his prophet. The message was that the time had now come to offer the fullness of the everlasting gospel, including celestial marriage, and the priesthood, and the blessings of the temple, to all men, without reference to race or color, solely on the basis of personal worthiness. And we all heard the same voice, received the same message, and became personal witnesses that the word received was the mind and will and voice of the Lord".

Of course, the precise origins of the ban remain somewhat ambiguous to this day. An early statement by Brigham Young about a priesthood ban in the LDS Church was made on February 13th, 1849. The statement — which refers to the Curse of Cain as the reason for the policy — was given in response to the question, "What chance is there for the redemption of the Negro?" Young responded, "The Lord had cursed Cain's seed with blackness and prohibited them the Priesthood".

The question is -- was it doctrinal, or was it a mistake? It would be useful for Church authorities to investigate thoroughly and come up with an answer to end the ambiguity. I don't believe it was a mistake, because the Lord allowed the policy to continue for nearly 130 years. Those who claim the Lord wouldn't exclude a group of people neither know nor understand the mind of the Lord, and possess immature testimonies of the Gospel.

Visit the BlackLDS website to learn more about black participation in the Church.